Patience has never been my strong suit. I'm impulsive, a risk taker and forever giving to others whether they ask for it or not. None of these characteristics are bad, per se, but they have caused me to push patience to the side.
Well, not anymore. The universe is forcing me to embrace patience at this time in my life and let me tell you, it. is. not. easy. Every day, every hour, and every last millisecond is filled with the temptation to break the bounds patience holds on me. Sometimes my lungs feel as if they are full of fire like when you can't breathe and my heart beats so fast that the world goes fuzzy. At other times there is a stillness in my mind that truly scares me. I feel nothing at all in these moments. It's miserable. The worst part is, I'm only at hour 42 in a time line that hasn't been shown to me.
My days are spent with perpetual coloring, binging television, the writing out of words that are never sent, supporting friendship and endless kitty cuddles. Somehow though, I'm staying strong. Time is not on my side but the universe is and I hold on to that thought. Because patience, when you accept it, will give you the greatest reward there ever was, happiness. And for me, this happiness is home.
I was there once, home, and I'll find it again because like a compass guiding a lost soul, patience guides me. It forced me to jump back but soon I'll be able to take tiny steps forward and then one day I'll be able to run back. Until then, I'll be patient because what adventure is worth having if there aren't rough roads along the way to remind you to come home?