12152017 Creative Inspiration ... uh, where you at? Idk so here is a poem.

K. J. Rocazella

©2017 K.J.Rocazella

Creative Inspiration ... uh, where you at? Idk so here is a poem.

December 19, 2017

 

As of late, I've severely struggled with creative inspiration.  Even that is an understatement.  I don't know if it's the time of year, or maybe the crazy amount of distractions placed before me, but I find myself craving yet lacking inspiration.  It'll come around again but for now I'm a dog waiting at home for it's owner.  So, until creative inspiration returns, I thought I'd post an old poem.  Warning, this poem isn't pretty or happy at all. It dives into the mind of an anorexic person. 

 

A quick background: when I have time, I volunteer at Ronald McDonald house on Monday nights.  One night there was this patient that needed to be wheeled over to the ER because their resting heart rate was well over 100.  Even if you have no medical background, you should know that resting, your heart shouldn't be racing as if you just ran 5 miles.  However, that's one of the many things that happens when you stop eating. Your heart literally struggles to function. Anyways, this patient was admitted to Children's for anorexia and the mom was emotional so she needed someone to go with them.  

 

I walked with them across the street to the ER and talked with the mom about this patient.  Hearing the story about this patient was emotionally draining but it inspired me to write the below.  Before I left, I bent down and told the patient, "that little voice in your head telling you to not eat, that's not you. That's your eating disorder.  Remember you are not your disorder and there is nothing wrong with you."

 

A few weeks later the mom contacted me thanking me for my kind words and said the patient barely remembers meeting me (I assume this is because their brain and heart were so focused on keeping them alive that there was almost no time for short or long term memory processing).  Regardless, apparently what I said did something because they patient was able to be released 10 days later.  They have relapsed twice since then but are fortunately still alive. 

 

With all of that being said, here is the poem I wrote regarding anorexia.

 

 

 

 

Fading With Ana

Written by: KJ Rocazella

 

I'm fading you know

As the days go

Piece by piece

And bone by bone

 

11 lbs gone

5 more to go

I should stop, I know but

I'm not sad to see them go

 

It's not your fault directly

I thought you should know

But it is a derivative

Of everything you sold

 

To me each day

when things didn't go your way

You're frustration piled up

And Ana came out to play

 

I'm fading you know

As the days go

Piece by piece

And bone by bone

 

My heart grows weaker

but my love grows stronger

while fading with Ana

 

 

 

 

 

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