January 31, 2018




Well hi there!


It's me, your favorite rambling blogger.  So, this morning I'm having a discussion with my dear friend regarding what it means to put effort into a relationship. This applies to all relationship but in our case, we were discussing a romantic one.  Because you know, it's 100% normal to have deep and meaningful conversations at 9am on a Wednesday.  If you've never done this, I highly recommend it since it's WAY better than actually working ... okay, I'm off track.


Anyways.  Effort. What a tiny word for such an important act.  Here are three things I've learned about effort in my short quarter century of a life time:


1. It's easily dismissed and in my opinion, neglected.  Do we as humans truly understand how important this action is in a relationship? I know there have been times that I haven't and long story short it bit me in the ass.  It's way easier to ignore effort from others and not give it yourself.  Because let's be real, effort is a noun but I feel like we use it as a verb and verbs mean "to act" and that requires well, effort.


2. My definition of effort is attempting to help another to the best of your ability using the tools you have available.  THAT right there is everything.  Understanding someone, noticing when they need effort from you, and TRYING to give that to them literally can make or break a relationship.  The tricky thing though, is you can't ever stop. Now that statement sounds daunting but the expectation's revolving it are reasonable, I think.  All you have to do is try, and when you mess up, try again. But, I feel like that applies to life in general so maybe I'm just full of crap and don't know what I'm talking about. 


3. Expectations, whether we're aware we have them or not, is the nemesis of effort.  Too many times people become angry and complain that no effort is being put in when in reality, they just aren't noticing it.  Most of the time—when it's not actually due to lack of effort—this is because of expectations.  Just stop! Stop trying to create these ridiculous long winded expectations about effort that you probably one, don't realize you have, two, don't remember why you have them and three are most likely not achievable for a normal human.


4. I don't know if any of you have seen that old YouTube video of Chris Crocker screaming, "leave Britney alone!" But you should since I'm about to quote it. "Leave effort alone!"  Effort should be what it is, not what you think it should be and not what you want it to be. Other people can't be you. They can't live inside your head and know exactly how you want them to handle you. However, they can try and you can let them try.  BUT YOU HAVE TO LET THEM AND RECOGNIZE WHEN THEY ARE TRYING.  Sorry for shouting but literally this can't be stressed enough. Ugh. Okay, I'm done.


5. Reality.  Okay, so I know this blog has been "preachy," and basically I've told you to let other peoples effort roam free like a wild stallion and not try to reign them in.  That is not what I'm trying to say because it's alright to know your worth; and it's DEFINITELY okay to point out if someone isn't giving you what you need.  All I'm trying to say is that for those who treat you well and truly try, cut them some slack. They could be trying really hard and sometimes it sucks when that's not enough or even at least acknowledged.


Okay, that's enough for now. Goodness, I feel as if I was just at school being lectured. Sorry, y'all. My bad. ANYWAYS, I hope everyone has a great day.   Peace and blessings (another YouTube reference from Tracy in the Park ... watch it if you haven't). Okay, buh bye.











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K. J. Rocazella

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