I want to talk about feminism in this post, and how utterly annoyed I am with a majority of women in the world. We fight daily to win the most hypocritical award. I'm sure this opinion comes from the women in and out of my life thus far, and I like to think this viewpoint will change.
But so far, if I were to 'keep count,' more women have shamed, humiliated, abused, and ridiculed me than men. The most insulting experiences in my life have come from women.
Before starting this post, a final note from me. Well, more of a general statement: if you are going to complain about the world, policy, or anything that upsets you and NOT follow it with a solution, it's best if you don't say anything. It's one of my top five pet peeves, and I fall into this habit as well. Making a statement, and not taking the time to think of a way to change it or improve it, and then furthermore, not enacting said solution (in instances when it's possible to correct).
The abortion topic infuriates me the most. One would think that ALL women would be 'pro-choice,' and we're not. It's mind-boggling. One doesn't have to be okay with women receiving abortions to support pro-choice. What you're promoting is a woman's right to CHOOSE. There should be mutual respect between women regarding this idea. To completely take this right away, makes you no better than the group of men who still today actively fight against the rights of women. I specify a group of men because it's illogical to lump all men together. Just like women, we're not all the same.
If you don't support pro-choice, I don't look down on you, but I do question your ability to understand humanity for those that have different lives than you. I would never want to take away the choice for another lady who:
was raped by a stranger, family member, or significant other.
Is not ready to have a child in general.
Is underage and intends to provide the best life and is unable.
Mentally needs to have an abortion because of a medical condition that affects either her or her baby.
It doesn't need to be abuse to be traumatic, and we shouldn't only support those women who had a severe experience. Trauma comes in many faces and affects people in different ways.
Now, I have never been pregnant or had a child, which I'm sure for some makes my opinion less valued. But I have a younger sister. I have educated myself about pregnancy, abortion, and the science behind each; and personally struggle with my female anatomy daily. It's not fun, and I'll be damned if anyone, including some high and mighty woman, tries to tell me what I can and can't do with my body.
Body Positive Movements
The topic 'body positive' is one I've avoided for a long time. Mainly due to my insecurities and not believing I have the right to discuss such topics. But, today, I decided to say fuck it, and here we go. Also, Adele lost a lot of weight, and the views are mixed, and it pushed me over the limit MAINLY because I adore Adele.
As a woman, I feel pressured by other women to fit into a specific type of body image. Am I to be skinny? Or have curves? I don't have curves; does this make me less of a woman? What if I wanted lip fillers, would this make me fake?
It's confusing, frustrating, and quite frankly nobodies damn business. Continually, I find myself judged, insulted, and bullied by women. Why can't y'all stay in your lane, and merely spread positivity?
My first question is, what do you want?
I feel the positive body movement is as disorganized as asking someone what they want to eat after them saying they don't know.
These 'real' body movements are hypocritical. We should be preaching healthiness for individual body types. HEALTHY, not THIS IS NORMAL because it's all-inclusive.
If you are comfortable with how you look, then congratulations, you did it! I'm sincerely proud of you and hope to join you in that realm one day.
Unfortunately, there is a fine line between acceptance and health.
It's okay if:
there is fat on your body
you have curves
your thighs touch
your stomach isn't flat
when you sit down everything bunches together
you don't fit into a size 6, or if you do fit into a size 6, 14, 2
All of this is normal, but not all of this is healthy. This idea would be the main point if you didn't pick up on it.
Recently in the news, I've seen more personal stories about women trying to lose weight, and are told they are going against positive body movements.
There is no such thing as healthy obesity. It doesn't exist. If you aren't actively striving to be healthy, please don't come back to society, and say it is discriminating against you. You are doing yourself a disservice by not trying to be the best version of yourself.
If you are plus size and decided to lose weight was in your best interest, you are not going against the body positivity agenda.
If your thighs touch, this doesn't automatically make you fat.
If you are 'thic,' this doesn't make you unhealthy. Sidenote: I'm envious you have curves in the right places.
You can be overweight and be healthy. Specific body compositions are dictated by genetics.
More of the aesthetics realm, but if you feel plastic surgery, fillers, botox, makeup, dyed hair, tattoos, etc., increase how you feel about yourself, then do it. Stop hating on women who embrace methods that make them feel better.
To the VS models who are shamed for their body types, I'm sorry. It's hypocritical to say they are too skinny. They work very hard to achieve those results, and they enjoy how it makes them feel.
I feel the positive body movement should focus on health rather than the normalcy of such a wide range of aesthetics, and it should focus on positivity.
The gender wage gap is something that many women are sensitive about, and this has included me. However, I want to share what some people might classify as differing views. The main reason I'm sharing these thoughts is that one, they are facts, but two, your personal opinion can be strengthed by learning from the opposite viewpoint. This way, we women can build a more durable case to change legislation. Protesting, and blogging isn't going to solve this issue. It can help spread the word, but an action(s) is the only way to enact change. (<-- I'm aware of how I sound here).
Okay, before I move onto facts, let's note that I know there are cases in which discrimination is present and is used to justify a refusal for a pay increase, promotion, or further advancing in one's career. I have experienced it many times by both men and women.
Moving forward, though, let's remove all personal feelings and look at some facts:
There is a wage gap between men and women.
The difference was higher in the past (before the 1980s) because:
fewer women went to college.
Once women became married, they had children and didn't go back to work.
The gap has narrowed in the past few decades.
Sidenote: studies say it won't close until 2059.
Research shows that unequal pay, not accounting for other factors, suggests the pay gap is due to inequality, not necessarily discrimination.
The discrimination wage gap is a more severe topic I'll cover at a later time. It deserves a whole post, not a bullet point.
There is an 'adjusted' and a 'raw' pay gap figure.
We're making up for years of a deficit, and it's unreasonable to assume we'll jump back to 'equality' when that's not how math or statistics work, without a drastic change of course. Unfortunately, certain factors will continue to slow the speed of equal pay for women. This list below is both factual, and opinionated by me:
Women tend to have less labor market experience due to having children.
Opinion: having a child(ren) changes a woman's life. Why would we want to up a time frame on a life event? When the physical and mental well-being for each of us varies greatly?
Vertical segregation: fewer women in senior positions
Opinion: I would appreciate it if someone would give me some reasons as to why and why not this is a reason for unequal pay. I don't know a lot about it.
Horizontal segregation: concentration of men and women in specific jobs. Ex: construction jobs, nurses, teachers, etc.
This should go without saying, but the items listed above are a few of a magnitude of reasons.
Anyways, those are my summarized thoughts on many reoccurring current issues. If you'd like to discuss it more, let me know! I don't know of any way to end this except abruptly.